


So close, yet farther than before

by AlanaWritesTM



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Be More Chill NYC Spoilers, Gay Michael Mell, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Pining, how it really happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 21:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15470049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlanaWritesTM/pseuds/AlanaWritesTM
Summary: I was at the first preview. This is the scene of the near kiss and a bit after from 3rd person limited point of view (or Michael basically) from how I saw it. Bum-Bum. (and a bit of artistic liberty on his inner thoughts, since he obviously didn’t voice them). Enjoy!





	So close, yet farther than before

“Oh! Zombie!” Michael turned to the Jeremy and back to the screen. He wanted to make sure they were going to finally finish this level.

“Blood! Claws!” Nothing around Michael mattered at that moment. His unbreakable focus on the screen was the only thing on his mind. Well, and Jeremy’s knee occasionally hitting him, but that’s a constant. Michael loved playing here, on the edge of Jeremy’s bed. They’d been doing games together like this for years. It was one of the only things that stayed a constant.

Well, until today it seemed. Rich had told Jeremy that in the back of Payless there were pills to make him “cool.”

And that was what made it really hit Michael: Maybe Jeremy won’t be here forever. One day he might just up and leave. If this pill actually makes him cool, it will happen. 

“Jeremy!” His dad walked into the room and Michael ducked on the floor with his hoodie.

“Paused…” Jeremy paused the game and turned towards the door.

“Is that a girl? Are you in here with a girl!?” Mr.Heere looked at Michael as he stood up to reveal himself.

“Hey, Mr.Heere” Michael turned to the doorway as well, hood still on.

“So, I was going to order a pizza, anything you guys want… on that pizza?”

“Did you get dressed today? Like at all” Jeremy gestures to his dad’s robe, and Michael stifles a laugh.

“They didn’t need me in the office, so I worked at home.” Jeremy looks to him in shock.

“Most people wear pants at home!” 

“That’s why most people… Aren’t your father!” Mr.Heere smiles, “Good talk.” And with that, he walks out.

And Michael was left to his own thoughts again. Not a good idea when you are the overly impulsive yet also anxious Michael Mell. Tonight’s his last shot to either convince Jeremy not to take the Squip or help him get it and lose him forever.

“It’s like- mom moved on, why can’t he!” Jeremy does not appear happy with that interaction.

“Hey-” Michael tries to reason

“Look at that! That could be my future! Rich said his hook-ups at the payless, let’s just go there ourselves and see if the story checks out.” Jeremy says, but Michael knows how bad it will be. He knows what’s going to happen. He’s seen this before. But he still agrees.

“And if it does? Will you be too cool for,” He pauses. He wants to say “for me.” But what will Jeremy think? Especially since Jeremy was the first person he came out to, the first person he had feelings for and everything else? So he says the next best option, “for video games?”

“No,” But the thing he said next makes Michael think maybe, just maybe, Jeremy had caught on. “You know that you are my favorite person, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t still dream.” 

Michael knows what to do next. So he does. What could go wrong if Jeremy has shown all the signs, and it’s his last chance anyway, “Is it really true? I’m your ~favorite~ person,” He leans himself forward, lips ready.

And then Jeremy lunges himself backward, so far he almost falls off of the bed. And Michael just slinks back, internally making sure he does not look as dejected as he is, “We’re never not gonna be a team. High school is shit, and you’ve gotta help me conquer it,” Together. The one word he wished he could add to the end of that sentence, lace his fingers with Jeremy’s and lean on his shoulder for all of his warmth. “But- I guess that couldn’t happen,” Michael thinks.

“It’s just what we do! We make it a two-player game.” Michael unpaused the game, “Find the bad guy push him aside!” They kill the first obstacle.

“Then move on forward with a friend at your side!” It stings a bit to say that out loud, “It’s a two-player game so when they make an attack!” They both move their characters forward in a seamless unison, “You know you’ve got a brother gonna have your back, and if you stay on track and gah! Remain on course and if you give them a smack ya ah, and use your force. And if you leave a brother behind it’s lame cause it’s an F-ed up world but it’s a two player game, hey!” And with that, they finally beat the game. 

“Two player game, two player game, heyy!”

And with that, Jeremy starts up the car and they get going to the mall.

“Um- I like your sideburns…” Jeremy is trying to get the squip, and Michael is with him. This is it- the beginning of the end of Michael and Jeremy, “Very wolverine, right?”

“Let’s see the money.” The man then recites the jingle that Jeremy told Michael about.

“How did you know why I was her-” 

“Just look at you kid! It’s 400” Jeremy looks confused, “got a problem?” 

“N-no it’s that there’s a guy at my school charging 6-” Michael kicks his shin. Jeremy never knows when to shut up. That was a good thing. But here, it wasn’t.

“If you insist.” He hands him the box full of them, “Ladies running shoes?” The man lets him take out one and states a disclaimer. Michael hears the danger in his voice.

They walk to the food court to buy mountain dew and Jeremy takes it, “I hope you’re worth the 400 dollars”

“Plus the dollar for the mountain dew!” Michael smiles.

“If this is real my whole life will change… We should split it! After all, you’re the one who helped me get it!”

Michael hesitates, “I don’t think that’s how it works. Plus know that when you’re cool,” Michael gets a little quieter, “You’ll owe me.”

Jeremy swallows it, “Here goes nothing.”

“How does it taste? Well, how do you feel? ” Michael waits for something to happen, but nothing does. 

“Like a chump.” Jeremy puts his head down on the table.

“Nothing at all? Try to say something cool!”

“Well, I guess I just blew my Bar Mitzvah money on a Wintergreen Tic-Tac.” Jeremy laughs.

“Yeah. Not cool.”

“Please leave me alone to mourn in my chili fries”

“Whatever. Five minutes.”

“Where are you going?”

“This guy at spencer’s gifts is hooking me up with a case of ecto cooler!” Michael waits for him to agree, but he never does, “It’s the Ghostbusters tie-in drink the discontinued in the 90’s!”

“What does it taste like?”

“Ghosts…” Michael whispers loudly and walked to get them. And to reflect.

But that was the last time he would ever see the Jeremy he’d known before taking that pill.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I'd love to hear what subtexts you got from the scene. Remember that all of Michael's thoughts are of my making, but a vast majority of the dialogue is directly from the show's first preview. Enjoy! If you liked, drop a kudo, or follow my Instagram @mike_faiist/Tumblr @faisty-connor.


End file.
